"Get busy living or get busy dying"

I went back to work in September after being gone for six months.  A co-worker was setting up photos of all the teachers with a little information about each including their motto for life.  When she asked me my motto I had no idea what to say, so she asked me to think about it and let her know.  My first thought was great, now I have to think about my life!  But that turned out to be a good thing.

Seeing how I work at a daycare I knew I would have to keep it light and positive.  My first couple of ideas were sarcastic and negative.  Then I remembered a line from the movie Shawshank Redemption (no I didn’t read the novella), “hope is a good thing.”  I thought to myself I do have hope again.  After we lost Madison I lost most of my hope but I can now say it is back.  When I told Derric I decided to choose a line from that movie he thought I was going to use, “get busy living or get busy dying.”  I laughed and thought it would be funny but decided to keep it short and sweet and something I wouldn’t have to explain.

However when I look back on my journey of where I was in late 2009 to where I am now, that motto fits my life also.  After losing Madison I wanted to “get busy dying.”  I used to have some pretty dark thoughts, not about hurting myself because in my heart I felt that would not bring me to Madison but further away.  I won’t voice those dark thoughts because they don’t exist any more, thank God.  And that is who I give the credit to for bringing me out of the dark place.  After a long time hope grew inside of me with the help of prayer and family and grief therapy.  As hope grew I decided to “get busy living.”

Honestly I feel the motto, “get busy living or get busy dying,” fits my family too.  We are all doing so much better now.  I feel like we all have more hope in each of our lives, and we all are more able to move forward.  I am positive that, “hope is a good thing.”