So, we begin another year without our Madison. It’s still so unreal that she isn’t here, another year of holidays without her. She loved Halloween and Christmas best of all. In late September 2009 Madison and I had gone to Hobby Lobby and saw all the Christmas decorations going up next to the Halloween. She was excited to see them all. She couldn’t wait to decorate a little Christmas tree for her bedroom. Murray and Brooke got it for her after her heart surgery in Baltimore, December 2008.
That day in the store she was happy to find ornaments in all the colors that she wanted, colors that complimented the bright green we painted her room. My poor baby never got to decorate it so Dallas and I did it for her. It was beautiful and will go up every year in her bedroom.
This was her favorite time of year. She loved the change of weather for a lot of reasons. The cooler weather made it easier for her to spend time outside. She got tired so fast and the heat would drain her to the point that she never wanted to be outside. She loved the promise of what was to come…Halloween then Thanksgiving and Christmas. She loved giving her friends gifts, and all the yummy holiday food and candy. You wouldn’t know it to look at her but Madison had a very healthy appetite. She would try any food she was given and more often then not enjoyed it. We miss our girl so very much. Time doesn’t heal all wounds.
Time
Embrace the feeling of time standing still. That one emotion that builds and it just builds. You can’t hold it in much longer; you think that you have to be stronger. When you couldn’t be wronger.
When people try to help, you just keep going straight through; because you don’t know if it’s true. Won’t let anyone try to help you.
Embrace the feeling of life, as it is, that building emotion, you know what it is. You have to be true to yourself, because until then you can’t help anyone else.
You have to be true to you. You need to express your feelings so you can find their true meanings.
