I remember writing in an earlier post that Madison loved playing with tiny objects. She was a very tactile person. Notice in the photo of her wearing the white shirt how she delicately holds the leaf so that it won’t crumble. She had the softest touch. I miss the feel of those long soft fingers on my face.
When she was a baby she sucked her thumb. As an infant she discovered the tag on her baby blanket. Whenever she sucked her thumb Madison would hold the tag, or “ticky” as she called it, and rub it with her other thumb on the palm of her hand. It almost looked like she was praying while holding a blanket near her mouth.
As Madison got older she stopped sucking her thumb, we never made a big deal over it and she just gradually stopped. She found other ways to occupy her hands. She loved to draw and write. She had pages filled with all the names of her friends and family in pretty ink. Did I mention she was obsessed with pretty pens and pencils? She had all of the baby names she wanted to name her future children written on sketchpads & notebooks with lots of different colors.
The one thing Madison really enjoyed for several years before she left us was making jewelry. One year both Madison and Dallas made bracelets for some of our family members for Christmas. Dallas didn’t have much interest in it after that but Madison wanted more. She would spend her allowance on pretty beads and everything that she would need to make necklaces or earrings or bracelets.
Today I found several necklaces she had started making for her friends to give them at Christmas. When I realized what they were and looked at the detail of the one she worked on the most, I just cried. In the photo you can’t see it but the thread is wound so tight and there is a raised pattern that spirals up around it. It is so delicate and beautiful. I don’t know where she learned how to tie embroidery floss like that but it’s awesome.
Each necklace has a pendant on it, I remember the day she saw them. She was excited to know what she would be giving her friends for Christmas early. She knew exactly what she was going to do with them too. Each necklace is the same and different, they all say at the top, “May Life Bless You;” at the bottom the pendants all have a picture and word, those words are, “Love,” “Comfort,” “Hope,” “Dream,” and “Peace.” I think those words describe who Madison was; a person filled with love for her family and friends and hope to get better. She dreamed of her future and days without pain. She often comforted her friends when they talked to her about their problems. Peace, all she wanted was peace for everyone and she loved peace signs too.
I might try to finish these necklaces and give them to her friends for a graduation present. My work won’t be as good as Madison’s, but I’ll try. My sweet baby, there are some days when I still can’t believe she’s gone. She had such a strong personality.
You never get over the loss of a child; you just learn to live with that loss, and hopefully become better at coping. I’m trying.
We miss you “Sissy.”
