Steel Magnolias

When I first saw the movie Steel Magnolias I thought it was a very good but very sad movie, and that was it.  The day Madison was diagnosed with Marfan syndrome the geneticist told us she should never have children.  My baby girl was eight months old and the doctor was limiting her life already in so many ways with the diagnosis then he laid this information on us.  I immediately had visions of the movie in my head.  I would one day have to tell my daughter she should never have children.  I know he wasn't telling us this to be mean but for us to have realistic expectations.  Not only would there be a fifty percent chance of passing Marfans on to her own children but the pressure a pregnancy would put on her body, especially her heart could be fatal to her and the child.  Now there are many women with Marfans that have had children and are doing just fine.  But even at a mere eight months old doctors suspected Madison had a more severe case of Marfans, and they were right.

When Madison was in her early teens we had that talk.  She talked about having five children from a very young age.  One day she asked if I thought she would be able to have five children.  That is where the discussion began.  We talked about her heart and how being pregnant puts a lot of pressure on a woman's heart and lungs and body in general.  We talked about how adoption could be the answer for her wanting so many children.  We even joked about how she wouldn't have to go through labor pains.  Then one day I was scrolling through the television channels and paused for a few minutes on the movie Steel Magnolias.  Madison had walked into the room behind me and was there for a little while before I noticed.  I went to change the channel but she asked me to leave it on.  After we watched the movie together for a while she said, “That's just like me, the doctor said I shouldn't have children.”  After thinking about it she said, “That's okay, I'll just adopt.”  She was so matter of fact about it and her mind was made up.  We did watch the movie until the end and I think that sealed her decision.

Every once in a while she would talk about how her future husband better like large families.  She wanted to adopt five children and it didn't matter what their race would be.  As a matter of fact she hoped to adopt children of all different races.  Madison could never understand the hate some people felt toward others because of their skin color.  She loved having friends of different races.  It's not that she didn't mind the differences it's that she loved them.  We went to a Catholic church just outside of the French Quarter one time, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the church was filled with people of many different races.  She leaned over to me and said, “This is how church is supposed to feel and be.”