One Year

One year ago today was a good day…until it wasn’t. One year ago today was a beautiful day…until it wasn’t.

The day started out like most others. Dallas went to school, Mark to work. Madison’s homebound teacher gave her a math lesson. I took her to the doctor and he said she was fine. We picked up lunch then went to the grocery. That evening we ate dinner and watched some TV. It started to rain.

Why didn’t I know something was wrong? Why didn’t she know until it was too late? Why did we only have 16 ½ years together?

When Madison was 9 years old her cardiologist, Dr. Stopa said that when he started treating Madison he had not expected her to live as long as she had. He said her heart was not perfect but, “it’s a strong little heart and it just keeps on pumping.” It was hard to hear that he had not thought she would live so long. When I think about it now I wonder, was she living on borrowed time? I’m not sure I even know what that expression means really. Borrowed time, aren’t we all on borrowed time? None of us will be on this earth forever. But why are some here for such a brief time?

One year ago today I lost one of my precious children, my Madison. We miss everything about her, her amazing sense of humor, her wise cracks, her laugh, her thumping footsteps and her big hugs. There’s too much to list, everyone who loved her misses her every minute of every day.

One year ago today was the worst day of my life.

Have the Wish

I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I make tonight. I wish I could see you again, I miss you everyday. I see you way up there and wonder away, I wonder why He made you leave. I love you very much.

I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I make tonight. I wish I could see you again because you were like my best friend. I miss you more than ever. I long for the day when we can be together, forever and ever.

By Madison Boudreaux

(I think she wrote this after PawPaw died in May 2007)